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3/26/2011 10:54:15 AM
My Husband--Stalker Bait?
As most of you have figured out, life is a trade off. I knew when I married my husband a couple of years ago that I was trading in any chance I had of being the star of the show in the future--at least when he was around.
I'd always had this dual personality. On one hand, I'm a hermit writer type. On the other, I loved performing or speaking in front of a crowd for many years, despite terrible stage fright before a performance or presentation.
Luckily, by the time I started seeing my husband, I'd put much of the "performing" away and was absorbed in fiction writing. However, I was still often remembered by waiters, clerks, and bank tellers--mostly because I'd create inside jokes with them and make them laugh.
Then Abel came along and totally stole the show. No matter how many times we'd walk into our favorite busy resaurant, the wait staff would look past me and smile at him. Only after they'd greet him warmly would they notice that other person who was with him again. I had become the sidekick.
I couldn't really blame them. Although he's not what you'd call "classically handsome," he's rather striking and you just can't miss him. When I met him, his black hair was down past his waist--he trimmed it to shoulder length a few months ago, but it's rapidly advancing again--he's Chinese-American, but the long hair seems to throw some people off so he just seems intriguingly exotic. He's one of those people that exudes "cool," and can stick silver rings on every finger, put on his yellow-jade pig bracelet--he was born in the year of the pig--and an oval version of John Lennon glasses, and look like it all fits him perfectly. When he walks in, he may remind you of a bad-ass from a Bruce Lee movie, then he smiles and it lights up the whole room. He has the aura of a rock star. Even the crew-cut straight-laced chiropractor started trying to impress Abel with his rock-and-roll knowledge right after we walked in.
So, I understood why people did double takes and remembered him, but then it got wierder.
Just before we go married, the girl that worked at the Blockbuster near my house took an obvious liking to him. Even though he'd walk in with me--and sometimes our kids--she'd say, "Hi Beautiful!" then hang over the counter and flirt with him outlandishly. She got so pushy that Abel was pretty creeped out by her and was glad we were using my Blockbuster card that didn't have his address on it. She seemed kind of "stalkery."
So that was wierd...until we met our new banker.
After we got married we went to open new bank accounts at the same Wachovia where I had my other account. The middle-aged (male) Indian banker had never paid me much notice, but he took one look at my husband and beamed at him like a school-girl.
At first I thought he was just happy for the business, but as he gave us our account options, he continued to focus all his smiles on Abel. Finally, when we were signing the paperwork, the banker couldn't contain himself any longer.
"You know, you're a very handsome man," he said to my husband.
Abel shifted his eyes toward me, unsure how to respond, as I pressed my lips together and tried not to laugh. "Uh...thank you?" he said.
"No really," the man persisted. "You should be in the movies. Are you an actor?"
"No," my husband replied, obviously uncomfortable being ogled and complimented by another guy.
"But he's a really great elecric guitarist," I said, hoping to egg the banker on. "He used to play in a rock band."
"Ohhhh!" the man said, bobbing his head enthusiastically and smiling even more broadly. "A ROCK STAR!"
"Well not really a--" Abel tried to correct him.
"And you should be in the movies too! You would make a great movie star," the banker insisted.
My husband couldn't wait to get out of there, but, of course, that was only the beginning of the fun for me.
"You're going to Bollywood!" I said when we walked out.
So from that day forward, I knew I'd be second banana, just a member of his entourage to the rest of the world.
But as I said, life is a tradeoff. I never have to worry about finding him in a crowded place. I can just walk up to the restaurant hostess, or building security desk, or Walmart greeter and say, "I'm looking for my husband." I wait a beat for the blank stare, then I add, "Long-haired Chinese guy."
"Ohhhh!" they say, and they take me right to him.
I'd really like to base a character on my husband sometime, but he's a brilliant rock star computer geek. I just haven't figured out how to make him believable enough for fiction--haha!
I wrote my finished novels before I met him, but he does have one important thing in common with Mark from Not Dreaming of You and all my heroes. He's a really smart, interesting guy, cause that's how I like 'em.
Not Dreaming of You is available now!